To Feel Visible at Thanksgiving and the Rest of the Year...

I stand in the aisle at the grocery.  It's that time of year with the big family-based holidays quickly approaching and the magazine covers reflect that. Thanksgiving is less than a month away and the glossy magazine covers reflect that. I love Thanksgiving. Its a holiday based around family and friends spending time together around a shared table, sharing a meal, and an afternoon - even if that afternoon involves a number of people yelling at a football game on the television. There doesn't seem the level of commercialized demands as Christmas gift giving. Growing up it was when my mom brought out the good serving dishes and we got special treats not always on the table, like olives. The glossy covers reflect the changing of the seasons with the fast approach of Thanksgiving. I've already begun making my Thanksgiving plans and I want to use linen napkins I've been collecting from thrift shops. One thing is missing...

I see the glossy magazine covers designed to entice people and encourage in them the sense of a a big family tables laden with the seasonal feast. Covers full of food and candles, beautiful tablescapes and rich colors, and perfectly cooked turkeys. Everywhere is turkey. I, like many other Americans, don't eat turkey at Thanksgiving or any other time. Some like me (the vegans and vegetarians), will grace their table with a turkey-like substitute as their main dish. I will be serving a my traditional puffed pastry, mushroom & nut filled, meatless Mushroom-Walnut Wellington. I my eyes scan over the covers boasting of Thanksgiving food, I find only one that doesn't include a turkey. I might as well be invisible, or at least that's how I feel. An entire segment of the population suddenly feels invisible.

Most of the time, I don't mind being the oddball out. I've felt that way in some way or another most of my life, but sometimes it would be nice to feel like a visible part of society. There are jokes about "that one vegetarian family member," that reach beyond my family (although I have heard them there more times that I would like to count). I want to feel visible as more than a food joke. I love cookbooks and skimming trough recipes, but the magazine with their glossy covers are passed over. Turkey doesn't feel like Thanksgiving to me and the magazine covers covered with dead poultry don't include me.

As vegetarians, we become accustomed to be isolated. There are some things I just can't find in my hometown and the small cities surrounding it, leaving me to sometimes have to order hard to find things or pick them up when I head to larger cities. I've grown accustomed to this, but one in awhile I would like to not feel like the oddity as I stand in the grocery store check out seeing the glossy magazine covers boasting what a Thanksgiving meal could/should "look like." Sometimes, I don't want to feel the invisible punchline told around the holiday dinner table.

6 Annoying Things I've Heard this Week

Look, Ma! Straight from the grill and no meat!

Whether you are vegan or vegetarian, you have heard some of the funniest, stupidest, and sometimes baffling comments from meat eaters. Here is a list of some of the annoying things I've heard this week about being vegetarian.


1. This is just some fad diet. I've been vegetarian about 15 years, but sure, keep telling yourself it's just a phase or just a fad diet. What's the lifespan of a fad anyway? For some people vegetarianism might be a fad, but vegetarianism as itself, is not a fad. It has been around a long, long time dating back to Einstein and even Pythagoras. Most people vegetarian or semi-vegetarian populations are actually increasing as it is becoming a more visible segment of the population.

2. What do you eat anyway? Grass, of course. I eat a lot of the same things as everyone else with one big exception, my meals not full of meat. Has it caused me to get more creative with my cooking? Sometimes. Has it made me more adventurous with food? Absolutely. Do I often go hungry? Rarely, but there are functions and restaurants that leave few choices or the family Christmas everything, including the bread was filled or covering in meat... bacon and sausage were treated like a condiment. In general though, I am definitely not in starvation mode.

3. It's just not a meal without meat. Yes, it is. I've been doing it for over a decade and I am not alone. I do eat meat substitutes, but I don't base my diet on them either.

4. Of course, it's vegetarian - it only has chicken in it. (It chicken broth or any other meat broth or lard.) This is an oldie, but a not so goodie. This is also how I've gotten sick a couple times... chicken broth in mashed potatoes, lard something else... I've actually heard this at restaurants.

5. Can't you just pick the meat off (or pick it out)? I have heard this for years and it never seems to be less frustrating. No, I am not eating the pizza I picked the pepperoni off of. No, I am not picking the meat out of the pasta either. It has still be cooked together. It still has the grease and the juices, which can still make me sick and are not vegetarian.

6. Don't you miss meat? No. There are social aspects that were easier when I ate meat, but otherwise, I don't miss it.

Vegan vs. Vegetarian: We Really Can All Get Along

One of my greatest pet peeves is the struggle and conflict that too often occurs between vegetarians and vegans, or the other such as semi-vegetarians, pescatarian, etc.

 It's not always easy being vegetarian, vegan, or anything that can be deemed "out of the norm." While "vegheads" are growing in numbers and options are becoming more plentiful, the reality is that we are still often in the minority. That can make it hard enough. In fighting, only makes it worse.

Recently someone I knew was seated at a dinner with others that knew me and my family. Upon, seeing someone order vegan, he (a definite meat-eating omnivore) stated, "oh, like her!" For many meat eaters the line between vegan is vegetarian is a confusing one and is all the same. Instead of the numerous non-aggressive replies that could have come, came "No, she is only a vegetarian. I am a vegan." I was told about the offsetting conversation later. It made my physically groan at the aggressive response and dividing reaction to someone who legitimately did not know the difference. It's not hard enough to get attacked by meat-eaters desperately afraid that we will take away their steak, but for many there are attacks basically within one's own community. Instead of allies, there is aggression towards anyone that doesn't "measure up."

If one chooses to influence someone else to make positive changes in their life, their health, or the environment, attacking someone for 'not doing enough' or for 'not being like me' is not going to encourage that change. A few militant individuals often give the rest of any given group a bad rap, and can make any cause or lifestyle to encounter more issues as a result of the actions of a few. Breaking people down however similar or difference than you are does not to influence positive change, if anything it incites people to rebel and act against you and your belief system. Does anyone really think they are going to change a meat-eater to a meatless by attacking them or calling them names? Despite, best intentions, this usually does not work now or every.

I try to live a non-aggressive life. I try to put out more positivity than negativity. Does it always happen? No. I am imperfect, like everyone else. I don't want to fight about my lifestyle or judge anyone else for their. Live and let live, means, even those for which you do not agree. It also means not alienating those closest to you and the lifestyle you have chosen. We really can all get along, if we just give it a chance.